Hello again, internet. Today I wanted to talk about something that has caused me a lot of bother over the past few weeks/months. I seem to have heard the term “fear of rejection” thrown around a lot, but it’s been more from my friends saying ” I don’t want to follow him first, I don’t want him to think I like him” etc etc. Although being rejected for your physical appearance can be daunting, to me it’s nowhere near as bad as having the substance of your being rejected. By this, I mean you, what you’re about, how intelligent you are, your likes and dislikes and your hobbies etc. I’m sure that there is a psychological study somewhere to prove that we innately desire to be wanted and accepted. I think the kind of rejection that jars me the most is that which makes you feel unsuccessful. When you get that dream job you’ve been pining for all of a sudden you feel amazing, because, out of all of the people that applied for that position, you above everybody else were exactly what they wanted. So recently, I’d been getting really down because I’ve been applying for jobs, and I mean a lot, like dozens and dozens maybe even near to a hundred now over the past few months. In this, I’d been getting a few calls for interviews or “we’ll be in touch soons” that just seemed to fall through. It all hit me today when I’d been on the phone for about 3 hours to different job prospects in my local area just to hear the same droning ” the position has been filled” or ” you have to email” ( even though I’d already emailed in) that I found myself laughing because it reminded me of that scene in Mrs. Doubtfire where Miranda was on the phone to about 20 different nannies before she’d almost lost the will to live.
It is so easy to be discouraged by rejection. I definitely have to talk myself out of being saddened by it. I thought that it might be a good idea to share, on my blog, the ways that I prevent myself from being affected by rejection and keep moving forward. So here are a few of my definitely non-scientific tips.
- Everything happens for a reason- The universe does not operate or revolve around how happy you, a tiny little person from the middle of nowhere, are. That’s a given. I’m sure that the “rejectors” aren’t thinking hey, I wonder how sad they are that they didn’t get to do this thing. The sooner you detach emotion from the concept of rejection, I’m sure you’ll become a more formidable individual. If you were meant to be doing the thing you so badly wanted to, then you would, which leads onto my next point…
- Perseverance- If at first, you don’t succeed, keep calling and calling and emailing Patrick in HR so much that he’s sick and tired of hearing your moany little voice and has no choice but to connect you Gemma in the recruitment office. I feel like if you want something badly enough you really should keep trying for it. Don’t get complacent just because they don’t want you. In most cases it’s just a person sitting in a stuffy room, reviewing files or checking emails who doesn’t care who gets the job. It’s up to you, not them, to put yourself out on a plate and make it easy for the company/ person to notice you. Just a word of caution though, if someone says they don’t like you, in a romantic sense, I am not cosigning harassment. Just felt that I should clear that up 🙂 hehe
- Know your worth- there is always going to be a person that is more qualified, well traveled, more attractive or in whatever sense “better” than you. Duh. There are 7 Billion people on Earth right now. Surely, you would figure that you are not the most fantastic person on the planet. That does not, however, mean that you are not brilliant or capable. You ARE brilliant and capable and all the things that you want to be, but you should believe in yourself and not wait for other people to tell you so.
- It’s not that deep- I am in an extremely lucky position in my life where I am blessed enough not to depend on getting rejected from a job or school as a defining moment that devastates my life. I don’t have to worry about where my next meal comes from or how will I possibly pay my rent if I don’t secure this job. But I understand that there are people that do. It is this perspective that makes me feel stupid for even getting sad. Here I am flinging the toys out my pram with my “first world problems”, never truly understanding what it means to be without any options at all. What I’m saying is to count your blessings and remain mindful that other opportunities can always come along for you, if you work hard.
I hope I wasn’t too rambly, but I at least feel better for venting a little bit and I hope that this “advice” helped a little bit, stay tuned for more stuff 🙂